The Evolution of a Poem
Tracking the journey of a poem through three differing versions.
The Evolution of a Poem
For something different I thought it might be nice to see the evolution of one of my poems. Most often this process happens before a poem gets released but for this one it happened after - three different versions that get (imo) progressively better.
The poem is one I shared in the newsletter a few weeks ago called 'You Are Not Alone In The Terrors Of The Age'.
Version 1
I knew the ending wasn't great as I had struggled through it and would continue to do so for the next year. But my immediate regret upon posting this initial version of the poem was the first line. It simply isn't necessary. "Take this moment to remember" probably came for a desire to start softly, but it is a wasted line and you should never have those and certainly never as the opening line.
It also contains two clichés - one I knew about and one I didn't even notice before posting. It paraphrases the line 'The horrors persist, but so do I' and I didn't even see it and I have no idea how I didn't and became immediately embarrassed upon realizing.
The second cliché is the wildflowers through concrete which, while a beautiful image in its own right, has been noted by many an artist and there is nothing about its inclusion here that is either original or necessary. I was reworking this poem from the minute it was released.
Version 2
